It is 10:42 a.m. Thus far today, I have:
I never can tell when I'm going to have a "getting it done" morning and when I'm going to have a "stare blankly at the computer screen and hope it looks like I'm working" sort of morning.
I was conversing with a few colleagues this morning, and we realized that we'd all had similar experiences in seminary or early in ministry with mentors trying to give us helpful "get it done" advice. Specifically, we'd each had an experience where we were struggling - with emotions, stress, tragedy - and were looking for some grace to leave a task or assignment undone because of it. And the mentors, professors, and older colleagues in question had given each of us some version of the same speech: "Welcome to ministry. You are going to have hard days. But in ministry, you still always have to 'get it done.'" I'm guessing this sort of advice isn't specific to ministry. It could probably apply to a variety of professions, and the intent is solid: When you are an adult, there are things that have to get done, whether you feel like it or not.
But wisdom aside, most of us had experienced this "Welcome to ministry; get it done," speech as dehumanizing and trivializing.
As it turns out, my experience thus far in ministry has been the opposite of a "Welcome to ministry; get it done," sentiment. Sure, there are tasks that need to happen, and sure, there are times when it doesn't matter what I feel, I still have to do what needs to be done. But there have been times when "getting it done" is just not possible. Times when I've faced personal struggles or when I've been overwhelmed with the weight of the worries and cares of the congregation. And when things have been so hard that I can't just "get it done," congregations and colleagues alike have offered me grace and compassion, and have offered up themselves to help fill in the gaps.
I think that it is a very human temptation to believe that things will fall apart if we don't "get it done." As if the tasks we do singlehandedly make the world go around. We each do plenty of important things - things that keep our institutions running smoothly, things that keep order, things that help other people do the things that they need to get their own stuff done.
But the truth is that most of us won't destroy the rotation of the earth if we are sick, or sad, or overwhelmed. Sometimes needing a little space to gain perspective is the most important thing. Sometimes taking time to heal is the most important thing. And, really, it is the times when we really can't "get it done" that we are forced to rely on other people, which is something that we're pretty terrible at doing. Daily, we are given all sorts of messages telling us that we are to be individuals, self-sufficient, strong, courageous, independent. Sure, these are great qualities. But they can be isolating. We can forget that we are all in this together, and that sometimes, giving up a little independence isn't such a bad thing. Learning to ask for help is a huge and difficult skill.
Some of my most important moments in ministry have not been the times that I've pushed through to get stuff done (and trust me, I've done a lot of that). Some of the most important, most beautiful, most profound moments in ministry have been the times that I've let other people do ministry on my behalf, or when I've let go of my own fiercely independent work ethic to collaborate in ministry and to let others help me.
So today, perhaps we each might consider how to give up a little of the pressure to deny ourselves for the sake of our seemingly pressing tasks. We might instead consider how to let others join us in our work and in our vulnerability. What is there to be gained by not making an idol of "getting it done?"
- Gotten up early, bathed, dressed myself, changed two diapers, and clothed a wriggly toddler.
- Dropped off said toddler at daycare in time for breakfast (he fed me a strawberry from his cereal bowl)
- Rushed to Java John's on my way to church to buy coffee for myself and the rest of the staff, because it is VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL and MONDAY, and so caffeine is important.
- Helped set up a laptop for a check-in station at VBS, and then helped lead VBS opening
- Assembled a new sliding file holder for my desk
- Updated and reorganized the church website
- Emailed the June church newsletter to the church email list
I never can tell when I'm going to have a "getting it done" morning and when I'm going to have a "stare blankly at the computer screen and hope it looks like I'm working" sort of morning.
I was conversing with a few colleagues this morning, and we realized that we'd all had similar experiences in seminary or early in ministry with mentors trying to give us helpful "get it done" advice. Specifically, we'd each had an experience where we were struggling - with emotions, stress, tragedy - and were looking for some grace to leave a task or assignment undone because of it. And the mentors, professors, and older colleagues in question had given each of us some version of the same speech: "Welcome to ministry. You are going to have hard days. But in ministry, you still always have to 'get it done.'" I'm guessing this sort of advice isn't specific to ministry. It could probably apply to a variety of professions, and the intent is solid: When you are an adult, there are things that have to get done, whether you feel like it or not.
But wisdom aside, most of us had experienced this "Welcome to ministry; get it done," speech as dehumanizing and trivializing.
As it turns out, my experience thus far in ministry has been the opposite of a "Welcome to ministry; get it done," sentiment. Sure, there are tasks that need to happen, and sure, there are times when it doesn't matter what I feel, I still have to do what needs to be done. But there have been times when "getting it done" is just not possible. Times when I've faced personal struggles or when I've been overwhelmed with the weight of the worries and cares of the congregation. And when things have been so hard that I can't just "get it done," congregations and colleagues alike have offered me grace and compassion, and have offered up themselves to help fill in the gaps.
I think that it is a very human temptation to believe that things will fall apart if we don't "get it done." As if the tasks we do singlehandedly make the world go around. We each do plenty of important things - things that keep our institutions running smoothly, things that keep order, things that help other people do the things that they need to get their own stuff done.
But the truth is that most of us won't destroy the rotation of the earth if we are sick, or sad, or overwhelmed. Sometimes needing a little space to gain perspective is the most important thing. Sometimes taking time to heal is the most important thing. And, really, it is the times when we really can't "get it done" that we are forced to rely on other people, which is something that we're pretty terrible at doing. Daily, we are given all sorts of messages telling us that we are to be individuals, self-sufficient, strong, courageous, independent. Sure, these are great qualities. But they can be isolating. We can forget that we are all in this together, and that sometimes, giving up a little independence isn't such a bad thing. Learning to ask for help is a huge and difficult skill.
Some of my most important moments in ministry have not been the times that I've pushed through to get stuff done (and trust me, I've done a lot of that). Some of the most important, most beautiful, most profound moments in ministry have been the times that I've let other people do ministry on my behalf, or when I've let go of my own fiercely independent work ethic to collaborate in ministry and to let others help me.
So today, perhaps we each might consider how to give up a little of the pressure to deny ourselves for the sake of our seemingly pressing tasks. We might instead consider how to let others join us in our work and in our vulnerability. What is there to be gained by not making an idol of "getting it done?"